Beaver's - Houston

Last night was the monthly happy hour for our little group of industry friends. It was an ideal occasion for my first bar review. One of the standing rules for our industry friends happy hour (IFHH) is to try a new bar each month. This time we settled on a former ice house in the 6th Ward called Beaver's. Hearing the name the first time, my first thought was... "sounds like some cheesy, lame facsimile of an already tacky national chain of restaurants".... but that's a whole other review. Luckily the names are where the similarities end.

Beaver's is one many bars that seem to be reproducing like rabbits along the Washington Ave corridor. This transitional neighborhood is actually much less shady than I expected, thankfully. Inside the bar the atmosphere is somewhat bland and character-free with the exception of some of the beavery knick-knacks in the hallway to the restrooms. Apparently Canadians need to be 'kept busy'. Who knew?! (Maybe one of our Novie friends can enlighten us on that.) There is roughly an equal amount of seating outside and in, shade is provided by umbrellas outside on large picnic tables. Outside of dining, drinking and chatting there is little else available to distract one's self here. The clientele seemed to be an unassuming mix of just-off-work professionals, some families and some less easily type-cast average folk.

I think we as a group were all very happy with the service. Our waitress 'Y' was extremely friendly and helpful. ... very personable and constantly checking on us. I did find out that the wait staff is not trained in beerology..... very unfortunate. Lucky for us though, Y is a fellow beer lover and was very knowledgeable. As for the beer selection, I think both Cupcake and I were pleased. Not that we expected a wall of taps, but we definitely like to see a vareity of good beers. Oddly, Beavers' only has 2 or 3 taps. Not quite sure what the point is. BUT they have at least 40 good beers in bottle. Even better, there was no pisswater on the menu! RESPECT! We did find out later that they do in fact carry pisswater, but at least they are rightfully ashamed enough of it to keep it off the menu.

On to the food. I've read that Beaver's is owned by one or more owners of respected local restaurants. Honestly, this surprises me. One would think seasoned restauranteurs could do a better job of avoiding being 'out of' major menu items. We had 2 or 3 cases of this occur. Overall there was a mixed response to the food we ordered, the majority of which were appetizers. Some were good (check out the Spam Nugz...seriously!), others not so good. There is quite a bit of bbq on the menu, but being a bbq snob as much as I am a beer snob, I avoided the bbq entirely. Its just safer that way. True, good bbq is hard to find... especially in Houston. My advice to any restaurant.... if you're not a FULLY dedicated 'bbq joint', don't waste your, and my time. And PLEASE spare us all those southeastern or St Louis styles of bbq... LAME! This is Texas! One of the few things we can genuinely do well here is bbq. So why screw around with any lesser form of bbq here? One last parting shot on Beaver's food, now that I'm wound up... no chicken sandwich is worth $15. Please! ..and in the 6th Ward?! Please again! Don't kid yourself... its just bar food.

In conclusion, I would say its a decent bar to hang out at occasionally. Not a potential 'favorite bar', but certainly worth checking out.

The Brew Card

Atmosphere: 1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9-10
Clientele: 1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9-10
Beer selection: 1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9-10
Food: 1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9-10
Service: 1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9-10
Prices: 1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9-10
Stuff to do: 1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9-10

Overall: 1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9-10

Flying Saucer - Houston

Ok, here is a fine establishment located in the Downtown area of Houston for you people interested in tempting the palate with one of the multitude of beer (pronounced Be-ah) styles available. If you're one of those that orda their beer utilizing only the first three lettas of the actual BIG BEER company, this place isn't for you. Don't offend the bahtenda who probably has to go to some dahk closet to get it for you and then force the rest of us to sit and watch. This place is for serious BEER drinkas only. The bah wall is adorned with just under 100 taps of pure goodness and the chilled closets hold some 200 bottle varieties of god-like nectar. The styles available ah pretty much anything a serious beer drinka would be interested in throwing back.
How do you get it, you ask? Well if it were me, I'd sit at one of the many tables in the floor area or in the loft and flag down one of those pieces of eye candy that is eaga to wait on you. BTW, these aren't just any wait staff, these girls are well-trained "Beer Goddesses". Whetha your a REAL BEER virgin or a returning connoisseur, these kilt wearing babes can inform and retrieve all that ALES you. There's nothing more impressive than a girl that knows her beer, and they definitely do! Kudos FS, kudos! Those of us that ah not virgins expect to pay a little more for the good stuff. So what can you expect? Well, a typical pint will run $4.50; the fancier style and ABV% will increase your cost and decrease your wallet all the way to the most expensive Mead at a whopping $35. Don't "cac" yourself yet, they make good by offering 22 oz. "biggie" beers during their Tues-Thurs, 4-7 Happy Hour & Fri 4-8. Also, educate yourself and hit a "Brewery Nite", or "Tap Nite" for all the latest offerings. For the real playas, join the UFO club, drink 200 (3 per nite) and get your well-earned plate on the wall of fame!
So, all this necta gives me the munchies. The FS offers non-traditional, simple bah food. What the hell is that, right? If you're looking for a burga, forget it. Replace that craving with a Brat samich, Brat nachos, Goat cheese pizza, Chicken samich with pesto-mayo, Hot wings, Beer-cheese soup or Meat & cheese trays, to name a few. One thing I do guarantee is NO cheapo ingredients; La Baccia buns, habanero sour-cream, & jalapeno vinairgrette round out these tasties. You can expect about average bah prices or slightly above to cure your hunga.
Wrapping up this exciting review for me is letting you know that the FS has a pubish look and feel, with a loud, sausage-fest corporate crowd and peaks of cleavage here and there not including the goddesses. Astros fans are a plenty on game night and the FS is a great place to meet-up prior to walking over to Minute Maid or sit and view on the TV's strategically located. If that's not your fancy, play a game of dahts with your bros or broettes or act like a child and play one of the video games.
It's been a pleasure to view and review the "Flying Saucer" for you. I hope you've learned something and if not, then you're not worthy anyway or just need to go see for yourself. This is the first of many reviews myself and my other beer bros and babes will share. As always, drink responsibly and Póg Mo Thóin!!!!


The Brew Card
Atmosphere: 1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9-10
Clientele: 1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9-10
Beer selection: 1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9-10
Food: 1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9-10
Service: 1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9-10
Prices: 1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9-10
Stuff to do: 1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9-10

Overall: 1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9-10

FRANNY'S BRILLIANT IRISH JOKE

Paddy had been drinking at his local Dublin pub all day and most of the night celebrating St Patrick’s Day.

Mick, the bartender says, “You’ll not be drinking anymore tonight Paddy”.

Paddy replies “Right Mick, I’ll be on my way then.” Paddy spins around on his stool and steps off and falls flat on his face. “Shoyte” he says and pulls himself up by the stool and dusts himself off. He takes a step towards the door and falls flat on his face again. “Shoite, Shoite!” He knows if he can just get to the door and some fresh air he’ll be fine. He belly crawls to the door and sticks his head outside and takes a deep breath of fresh air, feels much better and takes a step out onto the pavement and falls flat on his face. “Be’Jayses… I’m fockin’ focked”. He can see his house just a few doors down, and crawls to the door, hauls himself up and shimmies inside. He crawls up the stairs to his bedroom door, then to the bed and says “Fock it” and manages to crawl into bed.

The next morning his wife comes into the room carrying a cup of coffee and says, “Paddy. Did you have a bit to drink last night?”.

Paddy says, “That I did. I was fockin’ p*ssed. But how’d you know?”

“Mick the barman just phoned me . . . you left your wheelchair at the pub.”

COOOOLD BEER HERE!!!!

So FINALLY, After a VERY LONG hiatus, beer is back on tap at the Boettner-Hand household. Honeywheat and Coffee Porter.... the old stand-bys. Come getcha some.

PROLOGUE (the background bits you might want to know)

Recently, under the threat of a swift blow to the back of my head with a shillelagh, I was forced to promise to NEVER chug a leprechaun's pint when he so kindly offered me a small sip. Jeez, that's the last time I'll EVER ask one of those snotty little bastards where I can get a decent beer. Hence, I have created this blog to help avoid another embarrassing beating. And if it helps you too.. eh, I guess that's ok. Whatever.

So what's it all about you ask? Well, lets see... this is the jist of it. I like good beer. I like hanging out with my friends. I like a cool place to hang out, drink good beer and bullshit with my friends. One would think that combination wouldn't be too difficult to pull off. For the most part that is true, but I guess some might say I like to make things difficult. I would disagree though. I just like what I like, and I'm too opinionated (and too old) to put up with anything less than what I like. Life is too short. So that, in a nutshell, is why I decided to create this blog.

My intent is to create a record and review of bars, pubs and dives in Houston, as well as those I may visit while travelling. Each blog will hopefully include some of my experience at the bar in question, and a review to help me, and other like-minded friends, to decide whether I/we will return... or avoid it like the plague.

Joining me will be some contributing beer drinker/critics.... friends of mine. They're all punks, lushes, ball-busters and heathens... you know... good people. You can trust them to point you straight when it comes to decent bars... I think... I guess we'll see.

So on to the rules. I want to set up guidelines in order for there to be some method and pattern to these reviews. I do expect there will be changes and hopefully improvements on this method over time. First off, I would like some basic data.... the name of the bar, where its located, impressions and noteworthy experiences. A photo or two of the bar and the visit would be nice as well. Then, as you will see below, there is a list of aspects I would like the bar to be graded on. Each of these aspects I would like some specific details as well as a grade. I like the idea of a grade from 1 to 10. 1 being the worst, 10 being the best. Kinda like ranking women. ;) Ladies, feel free to give me a smack for that... I like it. ;)

Anywhoozle, here are things I would like the bars to be graded on. Please feel free to throw out suggestions... I can't think of everything!

1) Atmosphere

2) Service

3) Beer selection

4) Prices

5) Stuff to do (i.e. darts, pool, tv, jello wrestling ring, etc)

6) Food

7) Clientele

An aggrogate score will then be created from the list above to give an overall score. Again in a ranking between 1 and 10.

That's it in a nutshell. Hopefully not too complicated. Time to get started. Be sure to leave comments!!! If I'm going to this much trouble, you'd better throw out an opinion or two. Slackers.

I gotta go.

~S